Teaching Our Kids About Sex
Guest Blogger: Christina Garrett (The Mommathon Diaries)
“Mom… Where do babies come from?”
I look up from the sink where I have been scrubbing dishes and swallowed hard.
“Uh…. Ask your dad.”
I had tried to defer the conversation for as long as possible, but eventually, we were cornered. Of course, I know where babies come from. I have FIVE of them. So I really know. However, it has been my struggle to find the words to explain how the beauty of pregnancy comes to be. At the time of this conversation, my older children were 10, 8 and 8 (twins). Once we got over the anxiety of talking to them about the S-word, we dived in. And it was much easier than I thought!
Here are some tips to taking the awkwardness out of The Talk:
Remember that God created sex and it’s amazing. Many of us grew up in climates where sex was a hush term. While churches were overflowing with children, we somehow thought they happened by immaculate conception. Instead of being quiet about something that God Himself designed, we have to normalize that the Creator made ALL things beautiful. If we tell of God’s goodness in other areas, maybe we celebrate the intimacy between couples as well.
Teach kids that sex has multiple purposes.
YES, sex is for procreation, but that’s not all! God is very tactical in how He created humanity. The connection that happens in a sexual relationship is meant to go beyond just coming together to make children. The connection between a man and a woman is there to create long term attachment and intertwine two spirits together in unity.
Even more so, it’s OKAY to tell our children that God made sex to feel good. Let’s normalize the usage of their private parts and remember that they are full of sensory nerves because God put them there! Tell them all the reasons for sex. It’s okay that it feels good. It’s supposed to – but God wants us to bond and enjoy it with our spouse. Periodt.
Talking about sex is a big deal, and causes a lot of stress when they think of their children pressing fast forward 10 years. Yes, sex outside of marriage is a sin and God wants us to be married before we enjoy it. However, we don’t want to demonize sex so much so that the kids become tempted and think they are abnormal for their feelings and urges.
Although my kids were grossed out by the logistics of sex, I was able to laugh about it. “You all DO know, that with the exception of a small percentage of the world, everyone was created this way!” We need to let our babies know that what they feel is normal, and that they are loved and valued no matter what they desire or have experienced.
This openness and relaxation help our children to believe they can come and tell us about those things they see or hear. Slow down and remember – we are stewards of our children and it is our job to prepare them for making mature adult decisions through God’s Word, wisdom and awareness. It’s up to us to teach. God will help them listen.
Christina Garrett is an Organization Coach, Home School Mom of 5, & Pastors Wife. You can read more about Christina, advice on family life, and the space she provides for Mom's to invest in themselves at The Mommathon Diaries on Facebook.